Is it change or is it growth? Or maybe discovery? But then again, maybe it’s finally accepting? Whatever you want to call it, was it inevitable?
Over the years I’ve read many personal blogs. Of those that I connected with the most, I’ve seen many go through various stages of their lives and followed their changing understanding of themselves. Some, even progressing from being a cross dresser to living as a woman. “That will never happen to me” I’ve told myself. Well.
A couple years ago, I finally met a transgender friend I’d known on FB for a few years. While talking about my then personal status, she recited that age old joke (pardon the word usage here) “what’s the difference between a cross dresser and a transsexual?…about 2 years!” Haha, well that’s not me so I don’t need to “worry”.
Gulp! What has happened to me over the last two years? I’m sitting here at work on my lunch break, in uniform (unisex combats), expressing that feminine part of me, averaging 4 out of 5 days, so 80% of the time, at work, attending meetings, training, whatever…I’m comfortable. I have established a routine. Many on my base know the total “me”, some only my male or female “me”.
Looking back over the years, I had only ventured out of the house on a few occasions. 2018 was the year of awakening however; Positive Space training, realization I had to be true to myself, first ever Pride parade in Halifax, getting out more locally with friends for dinners.
The following year there where more opportunities to be out in public. Out to coworkers and Commanding Officers. A chance to get new women’s uniform, and other events to attend. And then last year, the realization that “bigender” (under the transgender umbrella) was the best descriptor for who I am.
Wait! What just happened? When did this change occur? Didn’t I say that something like this wouldn’t happen to me? Was I kidding myself? Was this evolution in my being INEVITABLE?
“Hey, have you heard the joke, what’s the difference between someone who thinks their just a cross dresser and someone who identifies as bigender?…about 3 years!”
- Posted in: Thoughts.