The Past and The Future: Reflections on a job finished and questions for my CD’ing future

With the pending third anniversary of my blog (I can’t believe how fast the last year has gone by), I find myself overcome with mixed emotions.  None of them having to do with crossdressing. Instead, they deal with the fact that within hours of this posting, I will be departing the location that has been my place of employment since July 2009. It will be such a relief to be home and not have to travel back and forth four or five times a year. It will be even nicer to be home with the family for Christmas this year! But at the same time, I will find myself looking for a new job, though I plan on having some down time before working again (something my wife insists I do).

I am the last of my company to remain. I spent a good part of today walking around the area and reminiscing, oh how things have changed since I first stepped foot here back on 02 July 2009.

I know for a fact, that what we (the company and all my co-workers) have done, the services we have provided to a couple of coalition countries over the years, has indeed saved lives. For this I am thankful. However, with billions of dollars spend on this “action” and the many lives lost both coalition and local civilian, I am left with a hollow feeling and a question. Has it been worth it? I reserve judgment and believe only time will tell.

Now that the heavy thoughts have been dispensed with, back to something lighter.

As I have said in the past, this job has offered me the opportunity of spare time in which I have been able to explore the internet, read and write about crossdressing and have come to understand what role it plays in my life. As I have been away from home for 2/3 of the year, opportunity to dress has been limited. Now, as I return home, I face a new situation. Time on my hands. Will I want or need to dress more often? How will the revelation that I told the kids about my crossdressing (see previous post) effect the opportunities? I know that I wouldn’t be spending nearly as must time online as I have these past years, but I still hope to be able to add something once in a while.

I will now take this opportunity to wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Michelle

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2 Comments

  1. LJ

    Endings are always difficult, but they are necessary for new beginnings! I am glad you are going to be spending more time with your family now that your term abroad is completed. Since your kids know about Michelle, and your wife is semi-tolerant of her, then perhaps you can try taking some small (but careful) steps towards being more comfortable with who you are. This can be a time of understanding yourself better. You are very pretty, and by affirming that in the mirror and in photos, I am sure you will feel more positive about yourself and your life. I look forward to seeing more of Michelle here! {HUG!}

    • Thanks LJ. We’ll see what happens over the next couple of months. 🙂
      M

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