Passing thoughts and observations for March
I hope nobody takes this the wrong way, but I have come to realize I may be different than may other cd’ers who have a presence on the web. Through the three sites I have a presence on; here, Flickr and Crossdressers.com, I have noticed that a great number of the members express their feminine persona more freely, more frequently and contribute more often. Is there a correlation between their freedom to dress or frequency of crossdressing and internet activity?
I don’t know if I’ve expressed myself clearly enough but I hope you get what I am asking.
I enjoy reading all the posts and stories from others, but still feel like a bit of an outsider whenever I wish to contribute something.
Who is writing these posts?
Although I may have mentioned this before, it’s still worth repeat; I’m a straight male, happy to be such and enjoy life as a dad and husband. I’m in guy mode, oh, about 99% of the year (if not more), and that includes when I am writing this blog or contributing elsewhere on the internet. I agree that this crossdressing thing (curse, blessing, gift, hobby, whatever you what to call it) is a part of who we are. Just that some utilize or express their feminine attributes more often and more easily than others. I personally don’t have an “enfem” writing style; “Michelle” doesn’t type any of these posts. This is just plain old male me here.
Femininus (degree of femininity)
I cannot ever recall being told I was doing something feminine like sitting, walking or in the way I expressed myself. In fact, my wife often “accuses” me of being a “typical male” in the way I think or react to things. I am not a girly guy (love digging in the garden, bashing 2 by 4’s and 2 by 6’s together) and I think that even shows in my chose of theme for this blog. No flowery or whimsical background, quite simple, plain blue, it was the first one I liked as I searched through the options.
I cannot bring myself to type things like; hugs, kisses, dear, darling etc. when replying to comments. It just doesn’t fit my mind set.
There is quite a distinctive separation between “me” crossacting as Michelle and “me” the guy. Did I just hear a collective gasp? “I thought you said this was part of you?” you ask. It is, it just doesn’t manifest itself during my normal daily routine. If you have read my other posts, you may have noticed I often refer to my girl self (Michelle) in the third person, though personal experiences are narrated in the first, as it was indeed me, that was there. For the majority of the time, I walk, talk, act like the guy I am, but flip that switch every once in a while and that tiny percentage of women in my (Michelle) can take over; she’ll walk, talk and act like the woman she is (makes me sound like Dr Jekyll and Ms Hyde…lol).
Do I have to call myself a crossdresser?
Even if we lived in a truly free world that accepted crossdressing, I still don’t believe this is one of the first things you would ever say about yourself.
“Hi, my name is ____ and I’m a crossdresser. I’m as a(profession), I’m interested in ____ and enjoy____”etc. Not the type of introduction I would give myself if an intro was required.
How about; “Hi, my name is ___. I’m a (profession). I am interested in aviation and transport and enjoy time with my family. My hobbies include gardening, model trains and aircraft kits. I also occasionally enjoy dressing and acting as a woman.” That’s more along the lines of what I would say.
Or I could describe myself as a guy (I may have mentioned that already) who sometimes likes to wear the clothes of the opposite sex (crossdress). While crossdressed in these clothes, I like to portray the image of a woman by adding make-up, hair and female mannerisms (crossact). While crossacting, I am expressing or displaying characteristics of the opposite gender to which I was born (transgender). How’s that for a long winded description using multiple labels?
Anyway, these were just some of my musings for the month of March.
Ok, ok. I know what I just wrote, that my girl and guy selves are separate and that it is guy me that writes these posts, so why did I sign Michelle? Because I like to have a moniker, but I’m not going to use my real name…that’s why.