A week in January not to forget.

Well, as I alluded to in my last post, I managed to get out in the real world as Michelle, something that I haven’t done in 17 years or so. It didn’t last long, but felt really great.

Prior to my return home from my overseas employment, my wife had indicated that her father had invited her to go visit them down south (Canadian Snowbirds in FL) while I was home. I feel bad about the thoughts that crossed my mind, though she really did deserve some time away from the kids and the daily grind of a “single mom”, that selfish part of the brain kicked in and thought, “this would be a great opportunity to dress and get out while the kids are in school!” Too late, the seed was planted and planning started.

For the next number of weeks I took excellent care of my nails (I’m normally a chronic nail biter or ripe them) and they grew out quite nicely (I’ll do a short beauty post soon). I kept my body hair trimmed short (not that I have much fortunately) so that I could expedite the inevitable ridding of hair when the time came.
It wasn’t until I got home that I found out when she was actually going in January. In the mean time, I enjoyed the Christmas and New Years activities with the family and friends (due to work schedule I only get to be home every other Christmas).
My wife would leave on a Sunday afternoon and would return the following Friday evening. There was no school for two of the kids on Wednesday and other activates later in the afternoons and evenings left only four mornings to fully dress.

Sunday evening was spent painting toe nails red, finger nails with a clear polish and shaving in the shower. Tuesday was my target day to get out. Monday morning I went through a quick transformation (not a real close face shave or too much makeup) and through my girl stuff to find what still fit (as I had put on a few pounds over the last few months despite my best attempts, plus Christmas had just happened..too much good, rich food…lol). I made my plans and completed a number of domestic chores, then changed back to male mode before the first kids got home.
Tuesday morning. After the two older kids were out the door to catch their early school bus, I had a close, close shave before waking the other two and getting them out the door. Then on went the make-up. It’s been awhile, so I took my time. I then got dressed and took a few pictures. So far, so good.

Though I was determined that I was going to get out, drive to another nearby town and get to the mall or other stores, I was still somewhat apprehensive. Then I looked outside. The forecast was for a few flurries; instead, it had been snowing quite heavily. Knowing the roads would be in a bit of a mess (though 15cm of snow doesn’t stop traffic here like it would paralyze the UK…lol, sorry UK girls), due to time constraints the decision was made for me. Today was not going to be the day to make it to the mall. Instead I waited until it cleared up a bit and went for a local drive and made it out to the Fundy coast. Then home and changed.

Wednesday was a good day to give the face a chance to recover and events where re-planned for Thursday. The plan was to repeat the procedures from Tuesday, but…….
My eldest kids’ alarms did not go off, so they weren’t ready for the bus and I had to drive them to school, hustle the other two along, get them on their bus then realize one of them left their lunch and a book they needed. Drive to school to drop off these items. Is something working against me here? I am now about an hour and a half off my expected timings but can’t rush things if I want to look good.
I go for a “natural” look. I use multiple fine layers to cover my beard, not too much eye make-up or lip stick. Though I have taken to wearing my shorter wig, I still like my long blond one, so choose this today. Don black jeans, top, boots and borrow my wife’s jacket. “There, I think I’m ready”. I grab my camera, purse and jump in the car. I’m off.
Now…the feeling I was experiencing was strange, something I’ve never experienced and can’t describe accurately. I wasn’t nervous (as I had expected to be); I was sort of excited but at the same time felt quite at ease. The only explanation I have is, is that maybe over the last year (through blogging, reading and starting to communicate with other CD’s) I have become a lot more comfortable about my crossdressing, or crossacting when out and about. During the drive, I was convincing myself that I was just another woman, doing her thing.
Upon reaching my destination, a Zellers department store in the process of closing out, I caught myself sitting in the car and asking “you’re going to chicken out…aren’t you”? That lasted about 3 seconds. “Nope, here goes nothing”.
Across the parking lot I head, “swing from the elbows, small steps, feet in front of one another, roll those hips, shoulders back…..RELAX!” Again, there weren’t the butterflies present that I had expected. There weren’t many cars in the parking lot so shouldn’t be too busy.
Upon entering the store I am immediately met by a slightly older than myself female greeter, “just go with it” I tell myself, “you’re in it with both feet now girl”. “Good morning, I just want to tell you that all sales are final. There is no longer a customer service desk, I saw you looking over that way” “Ok..” I say (I had looked around as I entered the store) “If you need any assistance, one of us can help you”. “Thank you”. “Have a nice day” “you too, thanks” and off I stroll. That went well, she had been looking right at me and didn’t seem to have reacted any differently than with anybody else. Yay!
I spent about half an hour moving around what was left of the store, no jeans that I would have liked, didn’t “need” anything out of the Intimates section (I think I may have broken an unwritten CD rule there, lol), tried on a couple pair of shoes but nothing really fit…all the while trying to glance around to see what the reaction was from those around…nothing! As the links show, I tried to take a couple of inconspicuous photos, but that’s not that easy. Well it was now time to head off into the adjoining mall. It’s not that large, but there were a number of people about, “remember, your just another woman walking through the mall heading to the washroom” I tell myself. And off I went, quite at ease. I didn’t notice anybody looking and anyways,” who cares” seemed to be my attitude at this point. I used the washroom, and upon exiting the stall, there was another older lady starting to dry her hands as I washed mine while checking myself in the mirror. I passed her as she came back to use the mirror and I dried my hands…nothing…then I departed passing another couple of ladies as they entered…again nothing. I was starting to feel a bit of a “high” coming on, this was great! “Don’t get too cocky” I thought.
Once I had traversed the mall one more time, pausing briefly to look at a couple of window displays and tables set outside the stores, I returned to my car. Doing a quick time analysis, I realized that if I wanted to get home and try out some new photo poses I had recently read about, I needed to start back soon. If I had had more time and with this now found confidence, I would have indeed gone to the local supermarket and done some shopping (my list was in my purse), or even the hardware store to look at flooring that “my husband” was going to have to install next week. Alas, it was time to go. I was able to get an outdoor picture in another nearby parking lot, but as it was cold and windy and I couldn’t think of any great places to take photos by myself, home it was.
Once home, I spent a frantic 70 mins trying to duplicate suggested poses from a web site I came across. This was more for trial purposes, so no redoing my make-up, but a few worked out really well. Quick tidy-up and into the shower….kids will be home in 10 mins, “bye Michelle”.
This had been a great week. I felt way more confided that I can remember. Too bad the chances don’t come about that often.
And there was one more exciting event to occur that week….. but that will be another post. 🙂



  1. Really great to hear about your wonderful adventure there Michelle. I’m proud of the spy in you to pull all that off without a hitch. It is such a delicate balance of “how much to do” for those of us who still keep most of the female self in the closet. But it is so fun to let her out every once in a while and let her feet wet, or snowy in your case. Glad you didn’t have any problems, it’s probably because you looked so beautiful.

    • Thank you Alexis, you are so beautiful yourself. As I commented to Vivienne, it was a big thrill. I was not sure if I could still pull it off after so many years only dressing at home, but I really needed to try. I’ll try and not let another 17 years go by before I get out again..lol.

  2. When I first read this post, it didn’t particularly stand out. Then I read it again and realised this was the first time for 17 years! That must have made it a really special event. Glad you enjoyed it, and very interested to hear about the other “exciting event”!

    Best wishes,


    • It was a big thrill Vivienne.
      I hope to get that next post written very soon.

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