Some reflections on this past year.

Well, it’s just shy of the one year anniversary of my first blog and I must say I believe I have written and read more than I ever expected. It has been a good year so far as self discovery, though it has been another year of much time spent away from the family.

Looking back, this year has passed quite quickly (it seems the older we get, the faster time passes). It doesn’t feel like a year since I decided to break the ice and expose myself to the world of blogging. I am very happy that I took this giant leap, as I feel I have been able to get things off my chest, things that I have never spoken to others about, reflecting on my experiences and views of crossdressing.

I feel better about my crossdressing, in viewing it as a hobby, understanding it and how it applies to my life. In years gone by, I may have been tempted to let crossdressing control more of my life, but now, possibly due to employment circumstance and/or a better understanding of it through all the readings of others experiences and thoughts, I have discovered I am one of those guys who likes to “crossact”. I’m not into underdressing, or just wearing feminine clothing. I participate in this hobby very infrequently but when I do I want to project a 100% woman. I really don’t know if I still can as I have not been out as Michelle in many years, but even at home, there is no half hearted attempt.

I have also learnt that there are so many of us out there (though not in Nova Scotia apparently) and the endless variations to this crossdressing phenomena. There are those who are comfortable, struggling, confused, stressed, bewildered by this need or want to dress in women’s clothing. And there are the associated degrees of acceptance (or not) by our wives and girlfriends.

I have found that I have had to limit myself to the number of blogs and other sites I visit (otherwise I would never get anything done …lol).

Not too long ago, I did finally make contact with a couple of other CD’ers one of whom lives not too far away (if 2hrs is not that far, well it is compared to a different province or country..lol) and I hope very much to be able to meet one day (maybe even when I’m home next time). The other, as it turns out, has similar interests in another hobby I have.
Despite some stressful times at work, I was actually feeling quite calm, relaxed, happy after having exchanged emails with these two great people, Thanks ladies.

Next year I am sure I will continue on this voyage of discovery and hope I have a few good ideas for blogs.

At this time I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Thanks for reading.

Michelle.

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5 Comments

  1. Michelle,
    Your uncommon common sense in your approach to crossdressing is just so refreshing I had to write, if only to let you know that you have made a real impact in my first baby steps in understanding my desires to dress and present as a woman. Everything you write resonates with my own ideas, desires, and thinking in a powerful way.

    First, in more than one of your blogs you use the word “hobby” to describe one way of considering crossdressing. I had never thought of crossdressing in that way, which seems to allow for choosing crossdressing as a pastime rather than being compelled to do it by God knows what forces, biological or otherwise. It seems to me that my own crossdressing is less compulsion than choice, an idea which appeals to my sense of free will. I DO believe that some crossdressers ARE unable to give up the practice, but I also believe that many others take refuge in the popular notion that one CAN’T escape from crossdressing’s clutches without actually trying to. I may be wrong at this point and will happily change my thinking in the face of objective proof. (((smile))) In any case, I will continue to crossdress and enjoy every minute of it!

    Second, although Michelle is a truly beautiful woman, I see in her no hint of the narcissism that I see in many other CD blogs. Self-love is desirable but when it becomes an obsessive love for –and infatuation with – oneself ONLY, it becomes unhealthy and possibly pathological. In plain words, “Michelle, you are doing it right.”

    There is so much more I would love to say, but it can be saved for another time. May the Christmas season bring you much peace and joy. Thank you so much for the contentment and understanding your writings have given to many of us — still struggling, still searching, still striving to be ALL that we can in a world that still doesn’t comprehend.

    Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year,

    Randa

    • Hi Randa.
      Sorry for not responding sooner, but thank you very much for your response and kind words. I’d always thought of myself as a recipient, gaining information for myself, rather than disseminating it. I’m glad you are able to take something away from my ramblings..lol.

      Michelle

  2. So sorry for the confusing construction in this sentence above: “I DO believe that some crossdressers ARE unable to give up the practice, but I also believe that many others take refuge in the popular notion that one CAN’T escape from crossdressing’s clutches without actually trying to.”

    Much clearer would have been: ” I DO believe that some crossdressers ARE unable to give up the practice. But I also believe that many others take refuge in the popular notion that one CAN’T escape from crossdressing’s clutches even though they haven’t really tried to.”

    Hugs, Randa

  3. Pat Scales

    Michelle,

    First let me wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and well dressed New Year.

    I only recently found your blog and over the past week I have slowly read it all. I like what you have to say and while we approach our dressing in slightly different fashions we have a lot in common.

    I have been dressing since my childhood. As you know, however, dressing takes time, money, opportunity, etc. As such I have often thought of myself as the worlds slowest evolving crossdresser.

    Like many, a lot of my contact with crossdressing was limited to reading whatever I could find on the subject. An occasional letter to the editor or a library psych book. I would search high and low to find anything that could affirm that my inclinations were not totally off the wall. Today access to information and the writings of others is available at the click of a mouse.

    I grew up at a time and in a family where there was no money. I started working at whatever I could find as a kid. I had every job known to man and worked around the clock. I married young and worked my way through college and grad school. I am blessed with spending almost 4 decades with the most beautiful and intelligent wife in the world. We were blessed with two wonderful children who are out of the house.

    Early in our marriage I did not fully understand my CD urges. Back then the common word was transvestite and there was and remains a sort of negative connection to that term. I had no time to engage in dressing while in school since that took many years while I worked full time. Afterr graduation I took a job that for the past 30 years has gound me down with regular 70-80 hour weeks. I had fun with my family and knew my priorities. Dressing was limited to business trips and hotel rooms.

    I now have a bit more time and freedom BUT as strong as my CD tendencies may be my dressing remains a secondary part of who I am and what I do. While I love to get fully dressed and would really like to get out into the real world while dressed I take what I can get and for the most part it means dressing around the house and underdressing.

    Sorry to blather on since it is your blog but I wanted to thank you for your contributions to the blogoshere and to add my little bit of affirmance to what we do and who we are.

    Pax.
    Pat

    • Hi Pat.
      Thanks for dropping by and reading my blog. And don’t worry about “blathering”..lol, it all makes for a complete read. Like you, my dressing is only a very small part of my full self and I enjoy that part of me, when I can.

      Michelle

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