Why am I here?

Why do I have this identity on the internet?

Although it has been some time since my last blog (too busy, tired or just lazy..), I have still kept up with a good deal of internet reading. One post from Tina struck a cord with me. As I read her post Public or private, I realized I was going through the same thought process and my reasons for wanting to have this persona available online were changing.

Living in a rural setting but still possessing a desire to be seen and accepted as a woman, could have been the instigator for the initial big step of posting my pictures on the internet. I don’t recall why I started a yahoo email account, but that lead to some pics on 360 shortly before the move over to flickr. As time passed, I added more pictures and reveled in the comments I received. Even though these days I am not adding as many new pictures (as I don’t have the same number of chances to dress as in the past) or pics for the past, I still check every day to see how many may have added my pics to their favorites or added comments. 

As for this blog, I, like Tina, had the initial idea that it was to be treated more like a diary, a place to record my personal thoughts, past experiences etc. And so it is, except that I am now not writing it for myself, but rather, as the count of readers increases, I feel I should be writing so as to attract more readers. As with my flickr account, it’s starting to become all about the numbers and who is reading. It is developing into a bit of an obsession. But what drives this? Oh no, not another answer I have to go in search of…lol.

So, this brings me back to the title, why am I here?

This is something I am going to ponder for the next little while……

M.

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1 Comment

  1. For me, it’s simple. I’m all about words. Some guys do fishing, some do golf. For me, words are one of the things which relaxes me the most. So a blog is a natural thing. In addition, I can really be myself: I can talk about the issues which interest me, and I can put across my own points of view. And, because all anyone sees are a couple of pictures of me, I can look nice 24/7. I have three blogs: my family one, my work one, and my crossdressing one, and I get most hits on my crossdressing one by a mile.
    Lately I told my wife about my blog and she was quite supportive. She wanted the link and I gave it to her, though I honestly can’t tell if she’s read much, or indeed anything. She’s certainly never mentioned it or spoken of anything she’s read. On the other hand, now I am slightly less comfortable posting, just in case she is disturbed by what she reads.
    Like you, I find it tremendously validating when people read my blog (and like you, I count my hits every day!). I try to find something interesting to write, so that people will be amused or entertained or even fascinated. I think there is no point writing unless people read what you write. On the other hand, some of my favourite posts have garnered very few hits, where others which I consider quite weak have had hundreds of hits. So it shows that me and my “audience” are not wholly in sync!

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