Hobby? Fetish? Lifestyle? What is crossdressing to you?

Courtesy of Dictionary.com

hob•by noun, plural hob•bies. – an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation..

fet•ish    [fet-ish, fee-tish] Show IPA noun 1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency. 2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades. 3. Psychology . any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.

life•style    [lahyf-stahyl] Show IPA noun 1. the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group. adjective 2. pertaining to or catering to a certain lifestyle: unhealthy lifestyle choices; lifestyle advertising; a luxury lifestyle hotel.

Three words that are often used in association with crossdressing. There are certainly many others, but these are the first three that came to mind.

Since early on in my crossdressing experience, I resisted the use of the word HOBBY to describe this activity. I thought it trivialized it, but I also refused to acknowledge that it may be a fetish. That notion scared me when I was younger, but in my teens was probably very applicable. I would not consider my level of crossdressing as a lifestyle though there are many out there for whom this is true. As most of us know, there are an infinite number of degrees of crossdressing. It’s like the light spectrum; you can never tell when one colour ends and a new one begins.

I am starting to rethink the use of the term HOBBY.

As one goes through like, situations change. Understand of one’s life and everything around changes. My understanding and participation in crossdressing has changed.

Since I was young, I have been involved in a number of hobbies. Ok, I’m coming out of the closet with this one, I’m a model railroader, HO scale. Well, was. I also have built many…dozens…of model aircraft, 1/144 scale airlines and 1/72 military aircraft. There was also a short lived foray into RC planes. The trains, track and buildings have been in boxes for over 10 years, ever since my last aborted attempt to set up a layout was overcome by basement renovations. Most of the dozens of model aircraft have been in the same boxes for close to 20 years. I really don’t know why I still have them. These three hobbies seem to have outlived their usefulness. But, if I had continued with any one of them, let alone all three, I could have spent many an hour and many a dollar perfecting the end product. In the past, whenever I have made a purchase for Michelle, I have always felt a bit guilty, spending money on this activity. However, reading the definition above of HOBBY and knowing this is not something I do all the time, I could get use to the idea of calling it a hobby. Monies spent on a hobby are innocent. So now I could justify the occasional purchase in the name of a hobby.  I know I am a bit of a perfectionist, that was always evident in my fine detaining of my models and this attention to detail, I hope, I have brought to my crossdressing.

Now being comfortable calling this a hobby, I would also like to redefine the activity I partake in.

In my ever expanding reading repertoire, I have read many differing opinions on crossdressing. I consider myself to be an open minded individual and I don’t necessary agree with others ideas on crossdressing or how to stop it (if you so desired). I recently read one persons thoughts on how those of us who dress completely as a woman (and may even venture out) are trying to deceive both the public and ourselves. That we are somehow betraying our male selves, giving in to some unseen evil. Sorry, not my take on things. One of the best and most accurate descriptions of what I believe I now do when I cross-dress, is best defined by Alexis Alexandra as “Crossacting”. I love this term. When I get dressed (other than a few times I have tried the “underdressing” thing) I have to go the whole distance. I want to look as feminine as possible. I want to achieve that holy grail of passing. I have no intention of becoming a woman, I am not denying to myself that I am a male (I’m very happy being one, thank you), but for that time when the desire so occurs, I want to portray a woman as best I can, act the part, be the part and if going out in public, receive the recognition for a stellar performance as an actor/actress; passing. I had never considered it this way until I came across Alexi’s blog. Thanks Alexis, a tip of the hat, or more appropriately, a curtsy to you.

At this point I will just add that I cannot do the partial dressing, wearing just a dress or skirt around the house while in guy mode. I have seen myself in the mirror like this a couple of times when trying something on and I find it…..disturbing. This is not the crossdresser I am, but for others, they would have it no other way.

And so I think I may have found myself a new hobby within that wide spectrum of crossdressing, known as crossacting.  Or at the least, a new definition for what I do.



  1. Hi Michelle,

    A note to register I have been here and enjoyed this one post I have read. It doesn’t seem pc (politically correct!) for a tg to regard crossdressing as a hobby, but for the most part that is how I view it.

    Once you accept it is facet of your life, there is so much you can do….. join clubs, write and read blogs, socialise with other likeminded people, take lots and lots of photos and spend lots of time comparing yourself to others…….., goooooooo shopppping for lovvverly clothes and just chilllllll when you want. You can fill an inordinate amount of time. Thank goodness for the computer and the internet.

    I too like Alexis and the idea of fully acting the part. I have had no interest in partial or under dressing for a long time. I don’t even like dressing without make-up and for a long time hated my wife interupting me before I had completed my transition. When we have been to hotels for a weekend away and for a night out as girlfriends I have had to temper this irritation, but it remains.

    But it is true, I only have interest for doing the best I can in ‘passing’. Of course this ‘passing’ can just be in my mind. So long as I feel comfortable when out or in, and no-one is noticing or bothering me, then in my mind I pass. The fact that I am 6 foot in heels and many might turn around to stare after I have gone worries me less than doing the best I can. It’s the same when in a pub or shop and I am speaking to someone. They must know from my voice if not my looks what I am, but I just hope they think I am TS and that they will do me the courtesy of taking my custom and not in any way causing attention to me.

    I look forward to reading more of your blogs and I shall make contact to include you as a friend on flickr.

    Hugs Tina Cortina x

    • Thanks for droping by Tina,
      As I have said before, I have a lot still to learn about myself. 🙂

  2. Howdy, Michelle. Great topic. I think a big mistake a lot of people make is in assuming that all crossdressers do so for the same reason. That’s so very wrong… for some, it *is* a fetish in the sense of providing sexual pleasure. For some, it’s an outward expression of an inner desire to become female — and even within that category, some just want to explore being female for short times and some believe it’s how they were meant to be (in other words, transsexual). For some, like me, it’s just a clothing preference with (as far as I know) any sexual or gender-related issues attached. Oh, I’m sure I prefer satin to cotton and dresses to pants because there are some minor variations in my genetic and hormonal makeup that move me a bit further along the spectrum from fully male to fully female than my peers, but I’d be perfectly happy buying clothes from the men’s department at walmart if the men’s department had Wrangler brand rayon skirts, satin gowns, etc.

    Hey, a guy can dream can’t I? 😀

  3. Thanks for the shout out Michelle. Not sure how I missed this before. I look forward to reading more about your journey.

    Hugs, and keep it up doll,

  4. Thx for the lovely share , and ralph it really exists “crossdreaming”!
    My opinion on the subject is that the whole categorize part do not interest me at all.Mainly cause for all lifestyles one day a girl or guy stood up and said this is called blah blah term.
    For all i know it is just me being born and self express myself a bit more then the so called male gender or female gender. I think its good to self express yourself the way you want to and wear that dress and heels. Every other person saying thats weird gilrs clothes on a guy have to asked himself to think about the definition of “weird” “girls clothes” and “guy”
    Because for example “girls clothes”. They were called “girl clothes”cause that one guy or girl or whatever they desire to be stand up and say : This called girls clothes.. Well i don’t think this is a girl garment or boy shirt . No i find that dress or boy short the peice of garment i would love too buy. More often i finish at the girls deparment at one kas register. Then at the male register. But that is simple due too the fact “girls”clothes a much more diverse in sort and color i simple love it.

    And if that will be crossdressing or transvestism or fetish or whatever category
    For myself its just me!

    Keep express yourselfs xXx Carolanne

  5. Stephanie Stephens

    It’s all good 😊 and I’ve been dressing up since I was a young boy 👦 and now I’m in my forty’s I have a wife and to loving 😍 sons , it’s my hobby to as long as you have faith in god and believe in him you have done nothing wrong , my mother knows and my father doesn’t agree it but I don’t care what people say about how to live my lifestyle as long I don’t show it in front of my children. And who needs friends all they want is to talk bad about the way you dress 👗 , I really enjoy my hobby and I wish I can do it again but I have a back injury that keeps me from crossdressing and I’m very sad 😢 all I can wear is spandex leggings and spandex shirts but anyways keep doing what your heart ❤ loves to do, God loves you for who you are not what you wear .

  6. Lydia

    For me it was a fetish that became a lifestyle. I’m a middle-aged aerospace engineer working 60 hrs / week. Outside my home I work, pay taxes, trim the trees, etc. Typical nice, boring, quiet guy. Nobody you’d notice. But in the privacy of my home I lead a very different life.

    I’m short, thin and delicate looking. No matter how hard I try, I can’t put on muscle. I’m bad at sports and never got to sleep with many girls. Eventually I stopped trying to succeed as a man, and decided I might make a better woman. That’s when I started dressing.

    At first it was mostly sexual. I’d dress up like a girl and watch lesbian videos on the internet, pretend that I was one of them. But I also experimented with different looks during non-sexual activities. Sometimes I’m June Cleaver vacuuming in heels. Other times I’m a milf with glasses and my hair in a bun, doing math at my desk. Its fun to try out different voices, walks, names, etc. Its almost magical to become someone else.

    But I only ever do this in my home, with the drapes closed. I’m straight, and when I have a woman over for the night, I lock up the girly clothes. Maybe someday I’ll find an open-minded hooker for some lesbian fun. Anyway, I love the secret double life. I’m typing this in a miniskirt and blouse, slender legs crossed, having a great Saturday in Seattle.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: